Group Therapy

Let’s do this together!

“But I don’t feel safe in groups.”

It had been this way for as long as Tonya* could remember.

At least high school was predictable because people were expected to stay quiet and follow the rules. That made it feel safer. But that requirement of having to speak in class practically ruined the college experience.

Dinner parties are doable… but only with alcohol. And forget networking events!

Why does it seem so easy for others to relax, laugh, and have fun – find things to say with such ease?

Group therapy was scary, but not as much as Tonya expected. Yes, she was encouraged to talk. But there were rules! It felt safe. And she didn’t have to do anything if she didn’t want to. Gradually she looked forward to going to Group. She had finally found a group of people she could relax with and be real.

“I thought I was the only one.”

John* decided to try group therapy. For several weeks he sat and observed the other members, feeling really tentative about sharing his story. To his surprise, the others didn’t pressure him. They didn’t judge him for staying quiet.

As he learned about the struggles of the others, the similarities shocked him. The details of their stories were different, but the way they talked about their pain described his own so well.

Then, one day, he shared a piece of his life with the group. He was amazed by his ability to open up, the emotion that came out, and the outpouring of support he received afterward.

“Why do people keep saying I’m angry?”

Kendra* had been wondering that for a while now because her husband, her closest friends, and even her coworkers kept asking the question.

But Kendra didn’t feel angry at all. She felt misunderstood, judged, and rejected.

At the suggestion of her counselor, she joined a therapy group. But wouldn’t you know it? The group was picking up on her being angry, too. Kendra felt alone and scared.

But it was different with the group. There was a level of respect and safety she hadn’t felt before. Over time, Kendra could see that she was, in fact, exhibiting angry behavior. With the group’s support, she could see where that anger came from and what was underneath it all.

She could transform her anger response into one that reflected what she was really feeling inside: hurt, scared, lonely, and abandoned. The more she connected with these hurt feelings, the better she felt.

Her relationships with others shifted.

The annoying behaviors of others didn’t bother her so much.

And the loneliness faded away, replaced by a feeling inside that she was okay.

“I lost my dad, and I’m having trouble moving on.”

Charlie’s* dad died over a year ago. He was Charlie’s most favorite person in the world. Charlie missed him every day. His friends worried about him for a while, and then they stopped asking how he was doing. His mom recently commented that Charlie ought to get over it and move on as she had.

Charlie had read about the stages of grief and that he should be over it by now. But he wasn’t. A coworker suggested therapy. Charlie found a group to join to look at his feelings around losing his dad and anything else that he wanted to.

Charlie could face his grief at losing his father because of the group’s support. They played a role in bringing him right in touch with how he really felt about the circumstances of his dad’s death.

By going into his grief rather than continuing to stuff it down and avoid it, Charlie became free of this heavy burden he had been carrying for years. He also discovered that grieving is different for everyone, and there is no set time for a person to “get over” losing someone they love.