Financial Therapy for Couples

“He spends too much.”

He’s a spender, and you’re a saver. But it’s bigger than that.

The tension you both feel around how money is spent is growing every day. It’s really driving a wedge in your relationship.

You both feel justified in your choices around how to spend money, and neither of you is feeling heard or respected. You’ve tried to explain, rationalize, and come to a middle ground. It’s not working.

You are tired of feeling controlled and out of control. The fear, frustration, anger, and loneliness are growing.

Is money going to end your relationship?

“How can we manage our finances as a team?”

Should we put it all in the same account? What is fair? How do other couples do it?

I’ve been hurt before around money, and she wants me to trust her with it.

He loves tracking all the expenses and paying the bills, and I don’t. Even though it would be easier just to let him handle it, I want to be involved. What if something happens to him?

“We are just not on the same page.”

Retirement is finally in sight. She has supported him in his career, and he has flourished. It’s been his life. He has worked so hard to build something that reflects his values, provides for his family, and provides jobs for others.

She understood that this often meant holding things together at home, spending less time together, delaying vacations and dream destinations until later. But now she’s beginning to wonder if retirement will happen as they planned.

It’s already gone on longer than they had anticipated. What if their health fails and they can’t do the things they planned? He’s having a hard time letting go. Who will he be when he’s no longer working? Will the business survive without him? He doesn’t want to close the doors.

And do they even have enough money to really retire? So many things could go wrong, and he feels so responsible. She is growing tired of waiting… of worrying… of feeling lonely. She wants her husband back.

“We can’t talk about money without fighting.”

As soon as he brings it up, the tension overwhelms your body. Voices escalate, and pretty soon, it’s a screaming match.

You know you’re getting nowhere with conversations like this, so you’ve just started avoiding them. But the issues aren’t going away.

You both continue to feel unheard, disrespected, and worried about your financial situation… and helpless to do anything about it.

“You mean there’s therapy for couples around their money stuff?”

That’s right! There is. It’s called financial therapy.

As someone trained in counseling and personal finance, I can help couples sort through financial disagreements, improve communication around money, create systems to manage finances together in a way that serves what your relationship stands for, and bring a sense of understanding and peace to the relationship as it concerns money.

Many couples have found that simply having the third person in the room greatly improves their ability to address financial topics in a way that strengthens their financial partnership and their relationship overall.

Part of overcoming financial obstacles is seeing clearly the tangible financial impact of thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and your relationship as partners around money.

Depending on your specific situation, I may suggest some activities geared toward understanding the numbers part of your financial situation. We may work together to observe spending habits, create spending plans, examine debt and debt reduction strategies, and check for retirement readiness.

All financial activities are done without judgment (from me and, most importantly, from you) and to set the stage for the emotional work we will do to bring about greater financial wellness in your life.

Financial wellness is greatly determined by each of your individual relationships with money…

… and ultimately, how those relationships interact when you come together as partners in financial management.

I will invite us to explore how each of you emotionally relates to money by examining what you believe about money and where those beliefs came from.

We will see more clearly how experiences around money may affect your financial life and relationships today. We will work to make peace with the past to change the beliefs and behaviors in the present that you identify as being counterproductive to your desired healthy relationship with money.

We will explore how you work together as a team around financial matters, including how you communicate and divide up financial tasks. We will also search for engagement patterns that you’d like to change around financial matters and the emotions driving them.

As we move into a place of financial wellness for each of you and your couple-ship, we can work on your joint vision for your future, using exercises that help you create clear goals for that vision as it relates to what you value most in your life.

Are you ready to heal and overcome the financial obstacles that are threatening to end your relationship?

Is it time to create transparency in your financial life, both with the numbers and how you feel toward them and toward each other?

I am ready to help you do both so you can create the financial peace in your relationship that has seemed unachievable.

You deserve to have a secure and flexible financial foundation that supports your life together.

Contact me now for a free 25-minute consultation or to set your first appointment: (605) 215-0550.