Individual Therapy
Come back to YOU…
“Maybe it would help to talk to someone.”
It never really crossed Linda’s* mind as an option until her husband mentioned it. Had things really gotten this bad?
Life is so upside down right now, with no friendly place to turn.
Unsure of who she could talk about these things with, she wondered…
What do I have to lose?
“But I’ve tried therapy before.”
Ron* wasn’t sure he wanted to get back into counseling again. He had worked through the bullying and the anxiety in high school, and he didn’t want to dredge up all those uncomfortable feelings again.
He felt certain that was behind him. Yet something was telling him he needed to do something different. He didn’t want to lose the great opportunities that had finally come his way. He resolves…
No… I’m making the decision to take the plunge.
“He is driving me crazy!”
April* felt totally consumed by her relationship. It had gotten to the point where she no longer felt safe being around him, yet she wanted his company just as much.
He had an almost hypnotic way of making her believe that things were as they used to be and she could open up to him. Hours later, at home in bed, she realized he had invalidated and disrespected her… again. It feels like a hopeless situation as she asks herself…
When will I finally be able to stand up for myself?
There’s not specific criteria that says, “Yep, it’s time for counseling.”
Sometimes people just need someone to talk to – an objective third party who can hear what is going on in their life and provide an unbiased perspective.
It could be a work situation or something with the family. It could be a life transition creating some anxiety or wondering who you are now, feeling lost. Just getting things out from spinning around in your head, articulating them to another person is helpful.
So why not just talk to a friend? That can certainly be helpful as well. And sometimes, our friends are so intertwined in our lives that while it feels good to vent, we find the conversation stirs things up rather than providing clarity and a path toward resolution.
Other times people feel clear they need help now. It’s more urgent. They know something needs to change in their lives, but they are not sure how to make that happen. The pain has become overwhelming.
Emotions, such as anxiety and panic attacks or the heaviness of feeling depressed and unmotivated, are getting in the way of what needs to get done in life – daily tasks like going to work or class, being around certain people or people in general, taking care of the house, taking care of yourself.
Sleep may be out of whack; stress is through the roof; you may cry at inconvenient times. You may be so fed up with things that it doesn’t take much to make you explode in anger, and you’re tired of the guilt you feel about it later. When you consider your options for making things better, you come up with nothing. You may sometimes think of hurting yourself.
A relationship with a coworker, boss, friend, spouse, or partner may have become unbearable, yet the other person doesn’t see it. You aren’t ready to leave, but you’re at your wit’s end trying to make things better.
You may worry you are standing still as life moves on, slowly losing ground. Or you may feel afraid you can’t stand being in your life the way it is much longer.
Life is hard right now.
You know you’re not eating all that well, but a bag of chips or a tube of cookie dough makes the pain hurt less.
Sleep patterns, frankly, suck. Sleeping during the day, awake at night, never feeling rested. You could sleep for a week, and it wouldn’t help.
There are many things you’d like to be different, and your intentions are good. But change just doesn’t happen. Projects are left unfinished. Relationships are growing distant in between the times they are getting nastier.
Perhaps the most unbearable is the tape recorder someone planted in your head that plays an endless loop to make sure you never forget how worthless you are, how this is all your fault, how you should be able to get over this.
That tape recorder is a liar. I want to help you see and believe that so your life can start changing for the better.
Sometimes the options in life become difficult to see.
Many are not even in view as we look through the dense, black fog of our circumstances and all the emotions coming up.
Some options we know clearly lead to bad outcomes.
As much as you might like to tell off your boss and coworkers and quit your job today… probably not a good option. Feeling like you can’t stand another minute in your marriage? Packing your car and speeding down the interstate at 1 am… probably not a good option. Hurting yourself or others… not a good option either. I get it. At the moment, these options seem viable. They seem like they would solve the problem. They seem like the only options.
Sometimes, we can see exactly where we want to go, but some obstacle is blocking our way.
You may know exactly where you want to be in your career, but the stress of managing people is just not manageable and is holding you back.
Let me help you see that there are choices you can make that will leave you in a better position to move forward in your life. There are ways to address the emotions, the relationships, the struggles that will create space in your mind so you don’t feel so trapped.
Here’s how individual therapy can help…
I’ll provide a safe landing space where you can lay out the parts of your life that are hijacking your plans and your happiness. Together, we can make sense of what you are facing.
Together, we’ll get back to the YOU that’s independent of the anxiety, the frustration, and the obstacles. We’ll discover what lies in the truest, deepest place of your heart.
In the beginning, it’s a time to share what’s happening in your life that brings you to counseling. I’ll listen and give you all the time you need to get it out there until you feel like I understand. Until it feels complete. I’ll also ask you about some other areas of your life, like how it’s going with your family and friends, what kinds of things interest you, and if there’s anything in your past that may apply to our work together.
Our sessions are your time, yours to choose the topic and direction. However, there are a few things you may find me asking about or inviting you to do.
I may ask if this feeling or situation feels familiar. As you share more and more pieces of your story, we may find that something from the past is linked to what is happening in your life today. That kind of information helps us greatly as we work to create new perspectives and see more options.
You’ll eventually stop feeling surprised when I ask you what you are feeling in your body. Answering this question might be difficult at first because it may be something you’ve learned to ignore. That’s ok! Over time, you will become an expert at noticing the sensations in your body. You’ll learn how your body can give you helpful information as you deal with difficult situations and struggle to make choices and see options.
Likely you have some uncomfortable emotions that are a part of why you came to counseling.
One of my goals will be to help you feel those feelings and grow from them, which might not be what you want to hear! I’ll ask you this: has avoiding your feelings worked? Likely it has not. But feeling can be scary, I know! So as time goes by, I’ll help you feel more comfortable to face – a little at a time – what feels uncomfortable. Because there is great relief waiting for you on the other side.
We will definitely address that lying tape recorder in your head! We will get that thing, and all it tells you out into the open. We will help you stop believing those lies that are ultimately telling you you’re not good enough. We will find where these messages came from, and we will replace them with ones that honor and support who you really are.
I may offer things you can do in between sessions, like tracking your feelings, feeling your feelings, practicing new ways of talking and being with others, making a list of all the critical things you tell yourself, journaling, or drawing pictures. These activities can provide information for us when we meet and help you get to know yourself better – the feeling part that most of us tend to hide.
You don’t have to struggle alone with this anymore.
Together, we can create the clarity you are wanting around a specific situation or go for the life transformation that will get you out of feeling stuck and without options.
Contact me now for a free 15-minute consultation or to set your first appointment: (605) 215-0550.
*Names changed to preserve client confidentiality.